Million Dollar Idea #10
Jeans. Yep, good for any occasion. Pair them with a nice shirt and shoes, fancy. Throw on a tee shirt, now you’re casual. But geez louise isn’t it annoying when those jeans that fit juuust right when you first put them on, start sliding down your booty halfway through the day because the fabric has become a little stretched out. Don’t act like you don’t know about that. I love putting on my jeans right after they come out of the dryer because they fit just ‘baby bear’ right. But alas, a few hours later and I’m wishing I would have worn a belt because they are sagging like I’m some 12 year old skater boy. Here’s what should happen. Jeans should be Velcro. I know some of you are anti-Velcro. Well I’m not talking to those haters; I’m talking to the generation of open minded pro-Velcro citizens. So, we put some little tabs on the side of the jeans, and through out the day as they start getting looser in your gooser, you just pull the Velcro tab a little tighter. Yes I’m aware that a simple belt could do the same thing, but have you bought any belts lately? Those suckas are like 20 bucks a pop. Not to mention, they make your shirt all bumpy at your waist and you have to take them off when you go through airport security. So what have we learned? Velcro is always a good option and I seriously still use the phrase “geez louise.”
Million Dollar Idea #9
Okay seriously I may have outdone myself this time. We’ve all been on planes right? Well, even if you haven’t just keep reading because perhaps you can use this contraption for long car rides, train trips, horse and buggy treks, or however you get from one place to an entirely different and far away place. You know how sometimes you’re on a plane, you’re stuck with the middle seat because the day before, you were out looting or climbing a mountain or something other than checking into your flight right when it opened so you got stuck with a crappy seat? Trying to sleep while in the middle seat is terrible. Granted, it’s no Craftmatic adjustable comfyness sleeping in the aisle or the window seat either, but at least you aren’t sandwiched between two strangers hoarding your armrests and stealing your peanuts. The main problem is, you fall asleep, and your head starts to bobble or fall down to your chest, instantly jarring you awake, or landing on your sketchy neighbor to the right or left with which whom you may have shared an awkward, “so where you from” conversation earlier in the flight. Here’s the simple solution: An elastic band that you wrap around the back of the headrest and then around your head, leaning against the headrest. It would easily keep your head right in place against the back of the seat. You can make it adjustable by slapping some Velcro on it so it would fasten comfortably. I’m sure you could dress up the head strap with some fancy color or design and perhaps add some cotton stuffing so it’s a bit more comfortable. There could even be the deluxe model that covers your eyes as well to block out any intruding light from the guy next to you who insists on reading the entire time even though it’s a red eye. It’s easy, it would fit in your pocket, and it would help you nod off into sleepyland long before anyone asks you, “oops sorry, do you smell that?”
Million Dollar Idea #8
Socks are the mittens for the feet. Very important in times of freezing temperatures, when you’re wearing your sneakers, or perhaps for those of you that venture into the land of socks with sandals. I’m not judging, we all have our moments. We can all agree that life cannot and should not go on without socks, right? My qualm is this; I hate it when you take off your socks only to find those pesky elastic lines indented into your skin which takes a long time to go away. As a lady of society, (yep), sometimes I find myself in a scenario where I will have to change from a shoe that requires me to be wearing those constricting socks, into a dress shoe where no socks are required, therefore having to parade around the fact that I have these silly ribbed lines on my feet and lower calves where the guilty indent-ers placed their mark upon my innocent limbs. What could be the solution? How on Earth could we possibly exist in a world where socks were not dependent on elastic to keep them saluting our shins and not falling down to take cover under our heels? I believe that we could invest in the idea of perhaps making the top inside rim of our socks some sort of stick to the skin but not gross-like material. So our feet and ankles would not be strangling while enjoying the warm embrace that socks provide and when you take them off, they peel off easily and you throw them in the wash where the material can get cleaned off and freshly sticky again. I know how this would perhaps pose a problem for the XY gender and some of our more free living females out there with the hair on the legs bit, so perhaps in that case we could employ some sort of rigging system with Velcro around the top. You could tighten the top of your sock but not enough to make a mark. Yes, this is a problem plaguing society today and the solution is not simple but I think it must be done in order to live a calmer, less interrupted with silly problems kind of life. I think I’m going to write a letter to Obama.
Million Dollar Idea #7
I know that body pillows already exist, but this is different. I’m not talking about a big huge pillow that you can cuddle up with at night to replace a person, I’m talking about a body length pillow type thing, that has a built in heating unit that you put in your bed before you climb in at night, so you don’t have to get into a cold bed! Think about it, it’s winter, it’s below freezing outside, you’re sooo tired but you know when you pull back the covers, for the first 10 minutes of getting under there, it’s going to be a bit chilly. But, haven’t you ever rolled over into a spot in bed right after someone gets up and it’s still all warm and cozy and pre-warmed for you?! This way, you put the heated pillow type thing in your bed for about 15 minutes before you retire for the evening, and whamo, once you get in, it’s preheated and ready to welcome you into a night filled with dreams of sugar plums! (whatever they are).
Million Dollar Idea #6
Often times I’ll be driving along enjoying a captivating audio book or the sweet sounds of NPR when I glance into my rearview mirror, only to notice some annoying speedster has practically attached themselves to my bumper. Now, who likes a tailgater? Unless they are serving me hotdogs off a grill built into their trunk, I say, no thank you to rear light kissers. This is why I’ve come up with a solution to these annoying plagues of society. I think that cars should have a button you can push that releases a cloud of stinky air that will get breathed into the car that is following you too closely. Yes, I think cars should be able to fart on command. Just think, whenever you’re too close to one of those huge trucks spewing out black smoke on your car, you naturally back off because you know, that ain’t rose scented stank exploding out it’s tail pipes. Of course it would have to be some sort of environmentally safe foul smelling stench and no doubt 16 year olds with fresh licenses will be ‘car farting’ all over the place. However, I do believe that the good outweigh the bad here. Oh, and it would also be awesome if it actually made a sound like a fart too, just to make sure everyone else around but not in the direct smelling area, would know that jerk behind you needs to back, back, back it up!
Million Dollar Idea #5
I know that body pillows already exist, but this is different. I’m not talking about a big huge pillow that you can cuddle up with at night to replace a person, I’m talking about a body length pillow type thing, that has a built in heating unit that you put in your bed before you climb in at night, so you don’t have to get into a cold bed! Think about it, it’s winter, it’s below freezing outside, you’re sooo tired but you know when you pull back the covers, for the first 10 minutes of getting under there, it’s going to be a bit chilly. But, haven’t you ever rolled over into a spot in bed right after someone gets up and it’s still all warm and cozy and pre-warmed for you?! This way, you put the heated pillow type thing in your bed for about 15 minutes before you retire for the evening, and whamo, once you get in, it’s preheated and ready to welcome you into a night filled with dreams of sugar plums! (whatever they are).
Million Dollar Idea #4
Duh, I know this was already popular back in early 90’s but come on, need I remind you just how cool this idea was? With fashion repeating itself these days, bell bottoms came back, mini skirts came back, high top sneakers came back, why not Hypercolor shirts? They change color with body heat!!! Do you know what a goldmine idea that is?! I mean, I really think they should expand on it now and make all kinds of things Hypercolor; think how fun it would be to have Hypercolor sheets?! I recently looked up on ebay if it was possible to buy a shirt these days, and they go for like $30 now, and that was one of the cheaper ones! I’m telling ya, bring back Hypercolor and it will turn your bank account from a cool shade of red, to a profitable greenish hue!!!
Million Dollar Idea #3
I play basketball and I find myself constantly wiping the bottoms of my shoes off so I can get a good grip on the floor. I say there’s gotta be a better and more sanitary way. I propose a type of wrap that you wear around your calf that on the inside of it is moisturized by something that doesn’t dry out. That way, instead of using your hands to wipe your shoes off, you could just lift your leg and wipe then across the inside of your easily accessible calf area where the band is, and batta bing batta boom, instantly cleans off the soles of your shoes, giving you the grip you need so you won’t go sliding across the floor getting unearned traveling penalties called on you.
Million Dollar Idea #2
How many times have you been on an airplane trying to fall asleep, only to keep waking up because your head won’t stay put, and keeps flopping down to your chest straining your poor overworked neck muscles or it falls down awkwardly on the shoulder of the guy sitting next to you who not only doesn’t appreciate it, but immediately does the ‘I’m gonna move around as much as possible so you wake up and move your big head’ dance. Here’s the solution: a head strap. It would be a simple strap that velcro around the headrest so you can literally strap your head in place. There can even be different types. There would be the standard strap which would be the original and most basic, a strap with a sleep mask attached, maybe even a deluxe edition with little ear phones for those travelers who enjoy to totally tune out those around them. Oh my, the possibilities are as endless as the amount of times I’ve witnessed the ol’ head timber by many a passenger on many a flights.
Million Dollar Idea #1
You’re welcome. Why you ask, because I’m going to share with you a few of my million dollar ideas. I know a million dollars isn’t necessarily a ton of money these days, but hey, if ya see a dollar on the street, you don’t just keep walking, ya pick that prize up and consider yourself one lucky ducky. You may be wondering why I don’t run with any of these amazing ideas. Well, I guess I’m more of an idea girl. Also, I don’t need a million dollars; my wallet is not that big.
This is an idea I had a long time ago and frankly I’m quite surprised that it’s not in existence yet. It actually might exist and I just haven’t seen it, but if it does, I haven’t seen it yet. I think there should be a sneaker that has a built in pedometer but it measures in miles not steps. The same way an odometer works in a car. So you can tell how far you’ve traveled in your shoes. Have you ever heard that you’re supposed to get new running shoes after running a certain amount of miles in them? I think the shoe companies would have a field day with this. Replace your shoes every 500 miles; I can see the ad campaigns now.
