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There have been a lot of colds and sicknesses going around lately. It makes me think what do ninjas do when they are sick? I wouldn’t think that they could go to work and do their ninja things while they were sick. I mean for the obvious reasons like, what if they sneeze? I know you can sneeze quietly, but could you sneeze totally silently? You’re always gonna have that heave of air that comes out and come on seeing a ninja sneeze would just let you know their weakness. Also, they wear those clothes over their faces so what if their noses are all runny and snotty? It get all gross in there and they’d have to keep taking it off to blow their nose thus revealing their boogery identity and you don’t wanna know what a ninja’s lower face looks like, that would give away everything they live for. And where would they keep the hankies anyway? They’d have to have special black colored hankies because the white ones would give away their hiding places in the darkness. I wonder if ninja outfits have pockets. They must. Where else would they keep their throwing stars?
Which brings me to wallets. Why are guys wallets small and pocket size and girls wallets are big and oafey and obviously not pocket sized? Wait, I know the answer to that, it’s because girls are supposed to carry purses or hand bags or gigantic suitcases wherever they go and if they had little wallets the huge bags would just eat the wallets and you would never find or hear of them again. I do not like to carry anything. What if I need to all of a sudden break out into a sprint because I’m being chased by a gorilla, or a game of hot hands spontaneously breaks out or I have to climb a very tiny ladder where one misstep could cost me my life and everything I’ve worked for thus far? That’s why I don’t like carrying a purse. I have one. I have a few. Particularly for those instances when I’m going to the movies and I need to fit in my Swedish Fish, Junior Mints and a bottle of water. But I’ve never been a fan of buying expensive bags and carrying them around. I don’t think I even own enough things to fill up one of those big designer bags. Why do women need so much stuff? Anyway, so I have two wallets. A woman’s wallet, for when I feel the need to carry around every club card I’ve ever signed up for including the ‘Mobil gas, show this card, get a free tiger poster.’ Yeah I have that one too. Me and George Costanza. And a man’s wallet, for when I don’t feel like carrying a purse like when I’m nunchuking. Hmm, I wonder where ninja’s carry their wallets if they don’t have pockets? What am I saying, ninja’s don’t have to buy anything. When’s the last time you saw a ninja in line at a 7-11? Ninja get slurpee and disssapeeear…
Comments
Mindy, before I answer some of your questions, I just want to say that we so have to hang out and delve into the great mysteries of life,(like wallets and purses) over coffee or tea, instead of only being able to say hey when we see each other at Mike and Liz’s.
Ok, so ninjas as I said, have a lot of pockets. They have to, to carry all the ninja stars and smoke bombs and other ninja gadgets.
Wallets… Ninjas do carry wallets, but ONLY when in civilian clothes. In today’s world this is more frequent, since they have to interact with society more. But when in Ninja garb, no, they do not carry their wallet.
Sickness, Ninjas very rarely get sick, but even though they are ninjas, they are still human. Sick ninjas don’t get sent on missions, so they don’t have to worry about all that icky snot getting all over their mask. And as you pointed out, sneezing would give away their location, and that would probably spell certain doom.
And lastly, it’s good that you try to carry a guy sized wallet around. All the actions you mentioned are totally possible! Gorillas, maybe not as much. More likely some rabid Cujo dog, but IF a gorilla just appeared out of nowhere, you’d probably be the only girl to survive.
Hope I was able to shed some light on the questions you had, and hope that we can hang out soon and pick each others brains about wacky stuff.
This is awesome Ryan. You def
shed some light on ninjas. Wait,
that means, we can see them!
Ninja Dissapeeeeaarrr!!!
I sent this to Joy. Since she’s a ninja she may be able to answer your questions 🙂
Thanks Kelly!