I went to a B..B..Boyz II Men concert last weekend. They were missing the deep voiced guy, but other that, they still sounded good. So they sang one of their singles from back in the day, ‘I’ll Make Love To You,’ and as I was listening to it, it occurred to me just how funny the lyrics would be if the girl they were singing to, was really just looking for a one night stand, and not into this whole romantic thing they have going. So here’s what I think the girl would be thinking after each overly cheesy line that is in the song:
SONG: Close your eyes, make a wish
GIRL: Oh no, is this gonna be freaky?
SONG: And blow out the candlelight
GIRL: I was actually quite enjoying that scented candle, what is that? Sandlewood?
SONG: For tonight is just your night
GIRL: Alright then, less talk, more action, buddy
SONG: We’re gonna celebrate, all thru the night
GIRL: Oh. Really? Hmmm, really wish I would have known this, going in…
SONG: Pour the wine, light the fire
GIRL: First you tell me to blow out the candle, now you tell me to light the fire, dude, what are YOU doing?!!
SONG: Girl your wish is my command
GIRL: Boy, I command you to stop talking!
SONG: I submit to your demands
GIRL: You are more of a ‘take you out to dinner’ first kinda guy, aren’t you?
SONG: I’ll do anything, girl you need only ask
GIRL: I’m here aren’t I? Do I have to ask? It’s not like I came over to play Monopoly!!!
Chorus:
SONG: I’ll make love to you
GIRL: Okay, I thought we already established that when I came home with you!
SONG: Like you want me to
GIRL: I’m beginning to think this was a bad idea
SONG: And I’ll hold you tight
GIRL: I never said I was sleeping over!
SONG: Baby all through the night
GIRL: Maybe I can sneak out through the window!
SONG: I’ll make love to you
GIRL: OK, that’s been decided, now WHEN???!!!
SONG: When you want me to
GIRL: I think I’ve made it pretty clear!!!
SONG: And I will not let go till you tell me to
GIRL: Oh, God, Why Meeee!!!
SONG: Girl relax, let’s go slow
GIRL: Seriously dude, I forgot, I have to be somewhere…
SONG: I ain’t got nowhere to go
GIRL: Greeat. Can’t a girl just get picked up by a player anymore?
SONG: I’m just gonna concentrate on you
GIRL: Looks like there’s no gettin out of this for me then, huh?
SONG: Girl are you ready, it’s gonna be a long night
GIRL: I was actually planning on catching up on my tivoed Oprah shows after this little charade.
SONG: Throw your clothes on the floor
GIRL: Eh, yeah right, I don’t want your dog cozying up on my dress!
SONG: I’m gonna take my clothes off too
GIRL: Oh boy, Do I really have to look forward to you narrating this whole thing?
SONG: I made plans to be with you
GIRL: Wait, have we met before?
SONG: Girl whatever you ask me you know I’ll do
GIRL: Did you go to Cancun, Spring Break 2001?
SONG: Baby tonight is your night
GIRL: Turns out, it’s not at all, really
SONG: And I will do you right
GIRL: Your pretty confident, for such a talker
SONG: Just make a wish on your night
GIRL: I wish I could go back 3 hours, and go home with that dude with the crooked nose instead
SONG: Anything that you ask
GIRL: Can you bring the trashcan over here?
SONG: I will give you the love of your life
GIRL: I think I’m going to be sick…
